What are you really asking when you ask someone, “How many did you get?” or, “What was your time?”
We ask this for many reasons.
As a coach, I ask to get a pulse on how your training is coming along. I ask to find out if you felt you had a good workout or not. I ask to see how you are progressing.
Sometimes we ask to see how we compare. As an athlete, it gives me a guide to my fitness on that day. It may be a day I felt exceptionally good, or I may have felt like I was working harder than I thought I should. Asking can help me determine if I am tired or over trained.
If I ask you, it should not be about whether I beat you or you beat me. Yes, one of those two things happened but it does not mean anything more than that, and it gives no more value to me or my effort.
When you ask someone how they did, is it to give yourself validation? Comparing yourself to others may be the wrong mindset and will certainly lead to disappointment. Doing this uses the other person for motivation. That’s a lot of pressure to put on yourself and others just so you can feel good about yourself and your workout.
I promise you, there is always someone faster, stronger, or better, unless maybe your name is Rich Froning.
Let’s be fair. Asking someone how many they got almost always leaves someone disappointed, either you or the person you are asking.
Real enJOYment comes from the process, not just the result.
There is a time and a place for racing and comparing. If you ask someone how they did because you were racing them, you may want to make sure that the other person knows they were in a race! That way it’s more fun for both of you!